100%

I have wasted so much of my time trying to be the perfect student (in college) and then the best videographer/associate producer/worker I could be. I threw myself into my job. I gave it 110% and then some. What did that get me? Not much. Oh, I had a great time, a fantastic boss, wonderful teammates and made some really great friends. However, 3 years, 3 months and 3 days later(11-7-05 to 2-10-09) I was let go, "laided off". It didn't matter how hard I had worked, nothing was enough. Now, I should definitely say at this point, I know it wasn't my supervisor's decision and I believe that all the events that happened was a blessing in disguise for me. I do not regret my time at Walmart. I thank my team, the Shows & Events team, for the friendship, the lessons and always helping me become a better individual. You each played a huge part in my life and for that I will always be thankful! I love you guys and gals so very much!

How different would my life be though if I would have devoted myself to God like that? You know, given Him the 110%. I should have been trying to be a better Christian, better daughter, better sister, better granddaughter, cousin, friend, niece, insert title here. What would my life look like? How much happier could I/would I be? I should have been striving for my best in my Christian life and everything else would have followed. How many blessings have I missed? How many lessons missed? God has definitely used this difficult time in my life to teach me a lot about myself. Most recently, He taught me how to be vulnerable. I was at Ravencrest Summer camp in Estes Park, CO last week (6/28/09-7/4/09) with the youth from Fellowship Bible Church. One night during worship, God met me there and broke down all my defense's that I had built up to not have to feel the pain of what happened and all those emotions come flooding in. I literally broke down and cried, then laughed and then gave it all over to Him, the One who knows my sorrows and pains better than me. And I felt free. Praise God! He freed me. I have learned that mountian tops and valley lows are better and easier when looked at and shared with Him. And that most of our time is spent inbetween those mountain tops and valley lows. It is what we do with that time inbetween, those climbing up and climbing down that matters most. That is where our testiment of faith is tested the most and where everyone is watching.

God,
Please forgive me for my misplaced drive for life. May that 110% drive be towards my walk with You. May I walk according to Your plan instead of my own with rest stops with You along that way. Please help me to remember that You have my "storm" in Your hands. I called, You answered, You came to my rescue and I, I want to be where You are. You have it under control. I do not know when I will be out of this storm, but You do and You guide me, love me and protect me. Remind me that there are always eyes watching, ears listening and feet following. Thank You! I love you! Amen!