Saturday, March 27, 2010

Mission XNA

This past week I worked with a group of teens from my church on a local mission trip. We got the wonderful opportunity to work with Lightbearers. They train students preparing for missions and ministry. All the rent money paid for their apartment is sent out to the mission field. Our group was able to help with renovations since the apartments needed some drastic help. By us helping them in the renovations, we helped save money and that is just more that can be sent out. For instance, when our guys would help install a new dishwasher that would save $80 service fee. Training in Africa for one pastor is $40. So, that is 2 pastors that can receive training. Our guys installed over 40 new dishwashers plus 20+ new washer/dryer units as well. They also would have been an $80 service charge. Do the math. That is a lot of training for a lot of pastors across the world. How amazing to have such an impact!

The girls, there were only 5 us, got to clean and paint. Now, I am not talking cleaning like you clean your house every spring. No, I am talking some former tenants hadn't cleaned their apartments ever. One man had lived in the same apartment for over 8 years and never once cleaned his bathroom. Grace and I had the opportunity to clean this apartment. Let me tell you that never cleaning a shower for over 8 years leaves it extremely nasty. The word we used was "sicknasty". I mean we probably should have been in hazmat suits. It was gross. The staff even thought this tub was hopeless and they would have to install a new one. Well, Grace and I started out not wanting to clean this tub. I will admit we both had bad attitudes mine probably 10x's worse. But, we pressed on anyway. We sprayed the tub down and then went and prayed for the project. And then we started cleaning. We worked for the last 2 hours of the first day on this tub. We continued on it the next morning for another 2 hours. We repeated the process of spraying with bleach, going outside to pray, scrubbing it down, rinsing and repeating. So, 4 total work hours later, this tub is spotless. We grab a few of the staffers that were close by. They were shocked and overjoyed because it was a success. We had cleaned the tub and saved them a lot of money. Grace and I are so very excited about this and then the lesson dawned on us. We as sinners are like that tub; dirty, filthy messes and not worth the work its going to take to clean it, but thank goodness that God loves us because He comes in and cleans us up. He makes us spotless. Thank you Lord that You love me enough to come in and clean me up.

That same day that we finished cleaning the tub we took the teens to a mosque in Fayetteville. It was a difficult experience and one I don't think any of us will ever forget. After we finish cleaning for the day, we all clean ourselves up, have dinner and then drive over to the mosque. On the way there, we pray. When we get there, we are asked to remove our shoes and then the girls are sent upstairs while the boys remained down stairs. That was the first of the difficult experiences for the night. We are so used to worshipping with our brother and sisters in Christ. It made all of us girls feel like second class citizens. Upstairs, we see a huge one wait mirror wall the creates the balcony. We can see down to the guys and everything going on below us but they cannot see us. There are no pews, chairs or benches to sit on. When their prayer time starts we quickly learn why. They stand, bow, bow on their knees and kiss the ground. It was very ritualistic to say the least. There was no passion or emotion to it, they just went through the motions. After prayers, the men started a powerpoint downstairs that was difficult for the girls to see and we were having a hard time seeing. We broke off into groups and began asking the women questions so that we could learn. Pretty soon the man giving the presentation starts chastising us and telling us we are distracting the "brothers" and that us "sisters" should be quiet and listen. We all instantly stopped talking and kind of just sat there looking around. A little later we start asking questions again. In listening to this one woman, I never heard her say assurance of salvation or words like faith, grace and love. When asked how they get to heaven, she said they had a fear of Allah and a hope that their actions and good deeds would be enough to get them there. It was so overwhelming oppressing for me. Several of our girls were visible upset by what the women were saying. Many said that when we left all they wanted to do was to listen to praise and worship music. I have to admit, I even had to leave the room and go to the bathroom to clear my head for a minute. The fact that we were kept separate from the men, the fact that there was no emotion in their prayers, the fact that the women believed that they had tons of freedom and that all the things they as women had to do was enough to make anyone want to cry, but add in the fact that they meet 5 times a day, everyday believing that this will get them to heaven and I can't imagine how they could serve their "Allah or God" without loving him. It breaks my heart. They never said words like love, faith, assurance of salvation. There was nothing positive about it. The women were covered top to bottom in dark colors, nothing pretty.

It was definitely a difficult night but a lesson no of us will soon forget. In fact, for me, I have a new desire to see them "saved" from these oppression. Praise the Lord that I serve a risen Savior and that He loves me and desires a relationship with me. A relationship that was bought by His Son's death and resurrection.

The rest of the week was more cleaning and painting and helping out around the Lightbearers apartment complex. It was amazing to be with them for the week. Their mission is fantastic and I was so blessed to be there and to be able to help in a small way. The other great factor is that the new Executive Director was/is a friend of mine. Kevin McCollum and his family now operate those apartments. It was great getting to see him and several other friends from Fayetteville. I hadn't seen them in years and to work alongside them for a whole week was great! I have been praying for them now and will continue to pray that their work be blessed and that they reach many, many lives for Christ. I even made several new friends like Kristi and Joy. We don't yet know the true impact of all that was done last week, but we know that God was glorified and that everything we did was all for Him.

Friday, March 19, 2010

I know the way out.

Surprisingly I love the show West Wing. The funny part is that its about a Democrat president and his staff. I am a conservative. Now you can see why it is surprising that I love the show. Well, it plays on Bravo here in the mornings and I watch them as I get ready for work. The other day one of my favorite episodes came on. The title of the show is Noel.

In this show, Josh Lyman, the Deputy Chief of Staff, is meeting with a psychiatrist and a traumatologist. You see at the beginning of the season, Josh's character was involved in an attempt on another character's life. He was shot and had to undergo surgery and it was touch and go. He makes it through and recovers and eventually returns to work. Around Christmas time, his character starts exhibiting PTSD, post traumatic stress disorder. He basically has a melt down and shoves his hand through a window. He has a huge cut and wraps it himself.

At the beginning of this episode the doctor ask him how he cuts his and hand and this sets off the stage for the rest of the show. The doctor keeps asking him throughout about it. Finally, he really starts pushing Josh about his hand and finally, Josh has a break through. At a Christmas concert he began to relive the events of the shooting. Next Josh asks what set him off. It was the music that sounded like sirens to him that unnerved him. When Josh leaves he runs into Leo. Leo McGary is the Chief of Staff. Leo tells Josh a story and that is the point to this blog.

This is the story. A man falls into this hole and can't get out because the walls were too steep. A doctor walks by and the man yells to the doctor "Help me, I have fallen into this hole and can't get out." The doctor writes him a prescription and throws it down to him and leaves. Later a priest walks by and the man yells to him "Help me, I have fallen into this hole and can't get out." The priest writes out a prayer and throws it down to the man. Soon the mans friends walks by. The man yells "Hey Joe, its me. I have fallen down into this hole. Can you help me out?" Joe jumps down into the hole with his friend. The friend says "Are you crazy? Now we are both down here." Joe says "Yes, we are, but I have been down here before and I know the way out."

I think too many times we forget that it is okay for us to ask for help. When the world is closing in on us and we can't seem to figure out how to get out, all we have to do is ask for help. Help from God, our Heavenly Father and our friends. He definitely knows the way out and will help us if we ask. I have a couple of friends that I could turn to and am turning too as I try to get out of the hole I am in now. They have been there and are truly praying for me. I like knowing that I am not alone and that really we are all in need of help, a hug, a good cry, a listening ear, a friend, a Savior. I know that I have a long journey ahead of me but I am looking forward to the day in a year or so when I look back and know that I made it through. Praise God that He heals and forgives! What an awesome God we serve!

I chose to no longer live my life afraid of things but to rather live my life for Christ without fear. I chose to follow Him no matter what. He is calling me to a great purpose than I could ever imagine for my life. I have said "Yes" and will follow His leading even though right now it is bittersweet. I am following Him and going back to school, seminary to be exact. While that is exciting, it is still scary also. I am sad to be leaving my friends behind but look forward to a new journey. A journey with Him into an unknown. This will be a time to grow closer to Him, in ways I have only dreamed about before.

Thursday, March 18, 2010

Saying Yes to God.

So, I guess for years now I have known there was a call in my life to missions and student ministry. I have been fighting it for a few years and especially hard this past year. I feel in love with Northwest Arkansas and didn't want to leave. I had fallen in love with my life here and got "comfortable". God had other plans for me all along and on March 1st I could no longer run from them. Saying yes to this kind of calling is easy and hard at the same time. Its exciting because its a new chapter, a new of trusting God, a new way to grow closer to Him and so many other reasons. Its hard because it means saying "see you later" to close friends and moving away, moving away from them and moving farther away from my family. It means opening up to spiritual attacks that most assuredly will come or have already been occurring. But the great part of that is seeing God take that and make it into something for His benefit.

Saying yes to God can also be in the short form like a test of your faith. I have been through a couple of those lately and while it hasn't been easy I am sitting here now(Thursday, April 1st) typing this up realizing that He has drawn me closer and that the "test" wasn't the important part, it was learning the lessons He wanted me to learn. Now, this isn't to say that I have passed with flying colors. I had a difficult conversation with a great friend on Monday night in which I was being very stubborn and difficult. I do not know how he stayed on the phone with me and kept encouraging me and pushing me to see things a different way. I am glad he did and am extremely grateful to him. This whole being refined by the Refiners fire isn't easy, in fact, it kinda hurts at times. But the great thing is how much I've grown, especially in just the past few months and weeks. Yeah, its hard to know that my wonderful friends here that have been a huge help and inspiration to me will soon be only a phone call away at the quickest and a long car drive away at the longest, but that does not matter. They are still my friends and will still be here for me. I love them so much and say yes because they along with my family support me and daily let me know how proud of me they are. I can do it!

I have fallen in love with Britt Nicole and her music. It is so real and for months now each song has spoken directly to my heart. I encourage you to go to Youtube and look her up or go by her CD. It is well worth the price. I hope it is as beneficial to you as it has been for me.

Monday, March 15, 2010

What do I know of Holy?

I have been listening to this song by Addison Roads a lot lately. I decided to add the song on here so I could stop by and read it when I need to be reminded of who God really is and how little I really know if HIm. Or so that if anyone else needs to see these words they can. It is a beautiful song. If you want to hear it, look it up on youtube. So very truthfully, full of compassion, love and complete awestruck wonder. I am so completely in awe of Him. That I can mess up as much as I do and yet He still loves me. He still wants me. He still draws me to Him. I love you my Heavenly Father!



I made You promises a thousand times
I tried to hear from Heaven
But I talked the whole time
I think I made You too small
I never feared You at all No
If You touched my face would I know You?
Looked into my eyes could I behold You?

(CHORUS)
What do I know of You
Who spoke me into motion?
Where have I even stood
But the shore along Your ocean?
Are You fire? Are You fury?
Are You sacred? Are You beautiful?
What do I know? What do I know of Holy?

I guess I thought that I had figured You out
I knew all the stories and I learned to talk about
How You were mighty to save
Those were only empty words on a page
Then I caught a glimpse of who You might be
The slightest hint of You brought me down to my knees

(CHORUS)
What do I know of You
Who spoke me into motion?
Find More lyrics at www.sweetslyrics.com
Where have I even stood
But the shore along Your ocean?
Are You fire? Are You fury?
Are You sacred? Are You beautiful?
What do I know? What do I know of Holy?

(CHORUS 2)
What do I know of Holy?
What do I know of wounds that will heal my shame?
And a God who gave life "its" name?
What do I know of Holy?
Of the One who the angels praise?
All creation knows Your name
On earth and heaven above
What do I know of this love?

(CHORUS)
What do I know of You
Who spoke me into motion?
Where have I even stood
But the shore along Your ocean?
Are You fire? Are You fury?
Are You sacred? Are You beautiful?
What do I know? What do I know of Holy?

What do I know of Holy?
What do I know of Holy?

Thursday, March 11, 2010

Mission Trip & Support Raising

Hello family and friends! I hope 2010 has started off just wonderfully for you. As you all know, this past year has been one of change for me. At first, I truly did not appreciate the “forced” change position I was put in. Now, over a year later, I can truly say I have been so blessed by God and His faithfulness. He has grown me and still continues to grow me. He has taught me many wonderful things and I am truly thankful for those lessons. He has also strengthened my heart for missions and shown me a new passion, youth. I have had the wonderful opportunity to be a part of the youth ministry here at Fellowship. With a strengthened desire for missions, I am so very excited to tell you of an opportunity coming up this June for me.

Once again I am preparing to go on a mission trip to Casa on the Rocks down in Guatemala City. It is the same place I went last summer and I couldn’t be more thrilled to have the chance to return. My group will once again be doing some construction and loving on the children. The most important part of this whole trip is to love on these children. They have been horribly mistreated by their families and have suffered abuse in ways no child or human ever should. Here is the link to Casa’s website - www.casaontherock.org. When you have some time, please check it out. It will give you a better understanding of where I am going and why loving on the children is so important.

I am asking for your support in a couple of ways. The first is prayer. This entire trip needs to be bathed in prayer. The second is financial. We will be staying for 1 week and so I need to raise $1,000 in support for this trip. There are a couple of ways to give financially. One way is to send a check made out to Fellowship Bible Church. I have included an envelope already addressed to Fellowship. A second way to donate is to visit my direct link. http://myMission.fellowshipnwa.org/modMissionInfo.asp?memberid=455244

On the site there are 3 options. The first button is to give via an electronic check. The second is to give via a credit/debit card. The third is to become a prayer partner. I pray that you will prayerfully consider how God would have you be a part of this trip whether it is financially or as a prayer partner.

I am so excited about this trip, to once again go and do God’s work. Even Jesus took time to love on the children. What a great opportunity to go and do exactly that, love on His children. By supporting me, you also are loving on these children. Every contribution is so helpful and so appreciated. I am so blessed to have each of you in my life and for the wonderful things you have taught me either as some sort of teacher along the way or just by the Christian example you live out through your life. Here is a line from a favorite Casting Crowns song. “Sing until the whole world hears”. I am following Him and will continue to go wherever He send and do what He asks me to do until the whole world hears.

Monday, March 1, 2010

When God talks, you listen.

So, I have had a very interesting day. I was supposed to take the Praxis this morning at 11 am at the University of Arkansas. Well, here is what happened. I left a hour before the test to make it to the campus on time, get a parking spot and find the test site. I have not visit too many different college campuses but let me tell you about UA. Parking is a nightmare! I was told that I would be able to use a meter and that it was 6 hours. This would ensure plenty of time for me to take my test and not receive a parking ticket. I was not told about the fact that the test service building had their own and that they were the only 6 hour meters. The one I found was a 90 minute one. Well, I only had 10 minutes before the test so I parked and placed enough for the 90 minutes and figured that I would just deal with the ticket before I left. So, I started walking towards the place the email said and the place the person on the phone told me. Twenty minutes later I am lost. I call the office again and the nice young man on the other end finally got me to the location I needed to be at. I was now 20 minutes late.

I arrived in the correct location and at this point was extremely frustrated. The director of testing services said I could take a moment and gather myself. She came to talk to me when she got everyone else all set up. While she was talking to me one of her people asked me if I was signed in. I said I was not and she very rudely told me I needed to sign in. The director told her not to worry and that she was taking care of me. After talking to her for a while, I decided not to take the test.

God used this incident to speak to me. I very clearly heard Him say "What are you doing? You don't want to do this. This isn't what makes you happy. Trust me." So, I told the director lady that I wasn't going to take the test and thanked her for talking with me. She was very sweet. So, I left and went back home, had lunch and went to the Reality Check, Inc office to work on the video for the fundraiser. God will definitely get your attention and speak to you when He has it. I am glad He did. Now I feel like I finally am listening to Him the way I should always. My future is completely in His hands and I will follow where He leads me. I am also a lot more calm about what that future might hold or take me.